*whispers* catpuccino
OMG I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEAVES
CatPURRccino
Hey look guys I made a goat friend
More you might like
and a dog friend!!!
And I met a kitty cat!!!!
Wholesome post
so sweet the animals can’t resist.
SO I’M GONNA TELL YOU A STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY because I think I accidentally made friends with a benevolent trickster god/fey animal/werewolf???
backstory: I have been afraid of dogs since I was in first grade and two of my classmates both independently got hospitalized for dog bite injuries within a week of each other. ever since, I have been attempting to get over this fear. it’s going pretty solid lately. it helps that at my bus stop, there’s a large and fenced in property with a dog that is afraid of humans. he’s a gorgeous german shepherd?? who I have taken a few sneaky photos of and always manages to look angelic.
so this pup is scared of humans and I’m scared of dogs. but for months we see each other every day. and we nudge closer and closer. and one day I’m feeling brave and pick up a stick and hold it out to the fence and this good good doggo gennnntly takes it between his teeth and runs off with it. since then it’s been a game we play every day and this buddy’s tail starts wagging when I come down the street towards the bus stop and frankly it adds life to these brittle old bones of mine.
today however was the reckoning… I was a bit distracted by school stress when I came down the street, and so I take a moment for myself and when I look back up, the puppy is GONE. I look around the yard, seeing if he’s behind a tree, then see him leaving the yard and merrily skipping down the sidewalk, where he suddenly stops. I ask my group chat for advice.
trick question by the time the answer comes I’m already walkin towards him. he’s sitting still, tail wagging. right in front of him on the ground, with no one in sight? a $20 bill.
I slooowly bend down and pick up the money and a nearby stick. put the money in my pocket. put the stick out to my doggo friend who gently takes it as always. and then awkwardly I kinda “well, thanks for the money! you should get home now, my bus is coming and your person won’t like you being out of the yard.”
and just like that. the dog just trots back to the yard happy as a clam and slips in through the gaping wide bars of the fence. meanwhile, three high schoolers on the way to school are staring at me and laughing but like. okay what am I supposed to do, not thank this blessing dog. I actually tell him thanks once again for good measure before the bus comes.
so basically my fear of at least one dog is cured, my curiosity is piqued (coincidence? maybe. smart dog? perhaps. but this is the same city I got cursed in and the same city I wandered into a fey subway sandwich shop in so), and I got 20 bucks. so reblog for money dog? I guess?
Waitwaitwait… can I hear about that fey subway sandwich shop, please?
okay okay so a little under a year ago now I was craving a sandwich. I went to my normal downtown subway, but it turned out it was buy one get one free day so it was crowded. after some thought, I remembered that there was another subway almost exactly across the street. same franchise, different location, very close to the one I go to and yet I’d never been. I decide to go see if it’s as swamped as my normal one.
I walk in and it’s as good as dead. there’s two people in line in front of me, four people behind the counter, and two employees wandering the store. it’s gorgeous. clean as anything. a fireplace with a burning fire (nice as it’s the dead of winter in pennsylvania at this point), and smooth jazz playing softly on the speakers. it’s huge. there are armchairs. the windows have curtains and a lovely view of downtown. it’s immediately the kind of place you could stay forever but I have a bus to catch in like half an hour so I walk up and get in line.
as I do, I see the first two behind the counter employees. one looks dead. one looks angry. the dead one… and I call her this because she literally looks zombified. not normal min wage worker dead but like her brain was removed dead… asks what she can get for me and I place my normal order. it begins to go down the line. it gets to the second person, the angry one, who says with the most INTENSE STARE to Dead Eyed Girl, “if we all had to come in and we don’t get busy, I’m burning down the city.”
Dead Eyed Girl, eyes still dead, says “Except for this store, of course.”
“Of course not, we can’t burn down this store.”
Dead Eyed Girl literally echoes “We can’t burn down this store.”
this is when I start to go from curious to a little freaked out. angry one takes my subs out of the toaster and begins to put veggies on it, then shoves it over to the person at the register who is, according to the logs I looked up to make sure I remember this accurately, remarkable for one reason… I was paying attention to EVERYTHING and yet I can’t remember what they looked like at all. I pay and I get my sandwiches and my drink cup and go to fill my drink up.
standing near the drink machine at this point are two more terrified looking employees who are talking quietly to themselves. I fill my cup up with sprite and am about to put a lid on it when one says “oh. that machine… doesn’t work.” note: at this point I have the drink already and it looks and smells right. “here, let me go replace that for you. don’t drink that! one second!”
he looks TERRIFIED as he goes to the cooler and pulls out three bottles of sprite and looks TERRIFIED as he holds them out to me asking, terrified, “here, is that enough?”
and so I just “yeah… thank you?” as he takes my cup and gives me the bottles. it’s more sprite than I paid for.
I sit down as far from the counter as I can and begin to eat. my first toasted sandwich? cold. according to my phone I’ve been in here for five minutes only. I didn’t see the customers who were in here when I entered leave. nobody else has come in. I’d planned to get out my laptop and wait here out of the cold for the bus, but even as I eat the sandwich time seems slow so I just devour it and leave. it’s not even been ten minutes since I came in. just take my second (cold) sandwich and my bottles of sprite and book it.
and I ask around about this subway. everyone I know says it’s perfectly normal and they’ve been there several times and it’s fine! and sure enough when I work up the courage to go back in two weeks later, the fireplace is not operational (in fact it’s blocked off), the music is staticky and pop, there’s no armchairs, and it’s not very clean at all. is there a possibility they cleaned it up for the event and redecorated in two weeks? yes. is it more likely that I wandered into the fey realm for a bit? perhaps.
I didn’t drink the sprite I didn’t pay for.
Damn.
Had a thing like that happen with a hobby shop once.
I had thought the place was closed and gutted, but saw to my delight that it was open and occupied while driving by one day. Of course, I had to stop in.
This place is immaculate, although something about some of the displays seemed slightly off.
A guy there was making custom dice. I commissioned one from him and he made it on the spot. Damn beautiful thing, and the luckiest die I own (not weighted, just super lucky… for me… and basically cursed for anyone else).
We had a very in-depth conversation about the presentation of fey in various contemporary novels while he made the die. I paid him (plus extra, cause I loved the work he was doing), browsed, bought some MTG cards, and left a couple of dollars in a donation box as I walked out the door (I think it was for supplying dice and other ttrpg stuff to local schools or something and I thought it was a very worthy cause).
One of the employees said something like “pretty decent for a person” to dice guy, and he replied something like, “yeah, I gave him a good one.”
I realized after I got home that the displays for the current set hadn’t had any letters on them that I could recognize, but my ADHD brain had parsed something on them as writing that said “Magic the Gathering” anyway and moved on (and I don’t mean, like, it was Arabic or Chinese or something. I mean nothing, in hindsight, even resembled writing).
The cards practically show up at the top of my deck when I call them, and the die is, again, fabulously lucky, but only for me.
Tried to bring a friend to the shop literally two days later and it was back to being abandoned and gutted. My friend didnt believe that there had really been a store there, although he has since admitted that those cards and that custom d20 are weirdly good for me… and only for me.
Honestly, I’m super glad not to be the only one to have had such a word experience, and glad to have a better explanation for it than “that time i lost my mind and somehow came out of it with physical items that appear to be more or less +1 ebchanted.”
Name of the die is Fafnir, btw. He named it, not me.
And, here I would love to have an experience like that. Makes life even more interesting.
Alright so either you guys wandered into alternate realms like our own but.. different..
Or it was Fae. I got no other answer
its a good thing you didn’t drink those extra sprite. The Fair Folk aren’t known for giving things away for free, and you don’t always get to know the price in advance.
I might have a story like this too, but its from quite a while ago, so details are pretty fuzzy.
When I was a wee blobling, my family lived in the country, near several small towns. Very nice places, where you don’t have to lock your doors, kids are safe to play outside on their own. That sort of thing.
When Necrodad had reason to come into the larger of the towns, he would usually bring me along set me free to wander the stores downtown, which was about 4 blocks long.
One day, while walking past a storefront that had been boarded up as long as I’d lived around there(and still is, to my knowledge) the door opened and a kid came out and invited me inside.
So, even in a rural small town, this probably wasn’t a great idea, but I went inside. (I hadn’t yet become the jaded, toxic blob that I am today.) Inside, I remember there being several other kids. I think they were all older than me, but none beyond elementary school age.
I remember it looking a lot like you might expect an old, abandoned store to look. Trash, peeling paint, a few dirty tables and chairs. But I also remember a few arcade cabinets, and one kid who had… something important. I can’t remember what.
I remember talking with some of the kids, and maybe playing one of the arcades for a bit. I don’t remember how long I was in there, but when I left Necrodad found me right away, and he was MAD. He’d be looking for me for a while.
I’ve walked by that same storefront hundreds of times since then. No sign that it was ever occupied. I even tried the door a few times. Locked.
Never told this story before. To anyone. It has been more than 25 years since this happened. It is quite interesting to think I might have wandered into the Fea Realm for a short while, and I’m glad that I got out. I didn’t know any better then, but the lesson I learned from Necrodad’s scolding applied to life in general and I was probably safer for it.
I love these types of stories. I don’t think I’ve had any experiences like this (at least, not that I can remember), but that’d be cool to have one of my own to share.
Though I feel like this would be a “be careful what you wish for” type of scenario.
Come get this dick-fil-a
I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday
One of you shit heads are saving this post and waiting until Sunday to reblog it
I will fucking find you
It’s Sunday
boring & disrespectful: “oh, i can’t survive without my morning coffee”, “energy drink makes it so that i can get through my boring work”, and so on
living properly: treating caffeinated beverages like very mysterious & powerful magical potions that can give us unforeseen abilities
drink 15 cups of coffee in a day and you can clip through walls
me, approaching my local barista with trepidation and awe: potion seller. I am going into battle and I require your strongest potion.
potion seller: trenta macchiato plus five shots as usual, then?
me, extending my credit card with a trembling hand: fuck me up
Orange Cat: [unfriendly/somewhat sharp meow]
Second cat slowly looks at the camera.
Man, filming, bashfully and sounding somewhat frightened: Sorry!
I’ve never fuckin seen a cat move like that, and it feels so goddamn eerie.
you ever just look at your teeth an go hmm…..teethios…..them gnaw boyes
Bone scissors
calcium clippers
Do y'all….take acid before creating posts like these
I fucking wish but unfortunately my brain is just like this
wow yall got me FUCKED UP on a Sunday morning already??
wig, okay…..
Wtf was this
Bruh thank god I’m not high rn or at least I don’t think I am
idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete
counterpoint- both, one of each. “these are my cats, switchboard and gary.”
I have a cat who’s full name is Darth Liquorice Jones.
Darth. (a black cat born on May 4th, we had to.)
Liquorice. (my addition; it was five years ago and i was very young. nonsense name.)
Jones. (the family name - an extremely common and ordinary name)
…He just goes by “Dude” though, as that’s all we’ve ever actually called him by.
I would die for Darth Liquorice Jones
reminder to:
- straighten your back
- go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT
- go take your meds if you need to
- drink some water
- go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while
- maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)
- reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about
- maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?
I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)
guys my mom’s new boyfriend is trying to be supportive of me being a trans guy and he said “i got you a gift, a boy gift”
it’s a mountain dew nascar trucker hat. i wanna scream, like it’s nice he got me a gift and it’s nice he’s trying but…. I wanna Sc r EAM
Guys drink MOUNTAIN DEW
And drive
N ASC AR
And wear
